My Environmental Soap Box

I hate wrapping paper.

Let's admit that even though the prints of wrapping paper the past few years have gotten significantly better there are still some rather ugly and distasteful rolls of wrapping paper lurking in every store. AND- it never fails someone you know always seems to find the most hideous one out there to use to wrap your gift. This is really besides the point of my blog so I'll move on.

I'm choosing to blame my hatred on the fact that wrapping paper is really truly not eco friendly. In fact, it's incredibly wasteful. After all the majority of households probably do not recycle their hideous wrapping paper from year to year, let alone recylce in general. Believe me, I could carry on and on about the effects of wrapping paper on the environment and the effects of not recycling but i won't bore you. To all you eco friendly people out there, yes, there are hemp based wrapping papers and other more eco friendly ways of wrapping gifts- all of which I support (except the wrapping paper, more on this later).

This is later...

I guess I should get to the real point and reason I hate wrapping paper- I can't use it. Yes, it seems like a pretty familiar household item that shouldn't need instructions, however, a three year old would have more success wrapping a gift than I do. Generally, my gifts come out resembling some type of paper mache arts and crafts project on crack. I can stuff bags with tissue paper all day long. But-wrapping paper is seriously the spawn of Satan- and those people in the stores who gift wrap as a living- I'm convinced they're from the dark side.

I think self awareness is important- not in this case- so in light that I'd rather SEEM more rational i'll continue to base my hatred of wrapping paper on my environmental conscience (which is still a percentage true just not the larger percentage.)

Regardless- hope you and yours have a Very Merry Christmas and Santa only brings you fabulous prints of wrapping paper with only the best of gifts inside of them.

The Heart is like a Light Bulb

One day I came home to find my patio in disarray. My giraffe wreath stand was knocked over and the wreath was strewn across my patio, the doormat was part way down the stairs, my porch light was shattered and the glass remains were scattered everywhere. The crazy thing was a post it note was left on my door that said- "Next time maybe someone won't care." That part is seemingly irrelevant though.

You think I'd be alarmed, however, I simply knelt down and started picking up the pieces of the light bulb. As I did this I started thinking a light bulb is like a heart- it's fragile and has to be handled gently. It doesn't take much to cause it to break but once it's broken it is nearly impossible to put back together and it will never be the same. It will never have the same luminosity. It will never shine as bright. The cracks and the scars will always remain leaving it only half as strong as it originally was.

As I continued picking up the jagged edged pieces of the light bulb my hands began to hurt and bleed. I realized that as humans it's instinctive (the first response typically) for us to try to put back together the pieces of our heart. Never in a million years would one sit there and try to glue back together the pieces of a shattered light bulb. Why? Because the remnants of the glass would hurt their hands leaving them mangled and bloodied. The more we as humans spend trying to piece back together the remnants of our hearts the more we hurt other areas of our lives and relationships.

When it comes to matters of the heart, time is often what is most necessary. That philosophy may not really apply to the light bulb however. It's hard (seemingly impossible) to give the necessary time and distance- to not meddle in our own heart affairs, to feel the twinges of pain; sadness; loneliness; regret; and guilt that generally follow a broken heart.

Don't get me wrong this situation, both real life and metaphorically, is scary. There are so many questions that go unanswered. So many fears and doubts. No one likes a broken heart but every one loves the events that lead up to it (again not really true for the light bulb). So, rather than hold on to the shattered remnants, hold on to the preceding events. Trust that what is meant to be will be even with a little bit of time and distance in the picture.

Like me, be thankful that there was someone in this world who showed you with time those jagged edged pieces became a little less jagged and with time your heart had been pieced back together and you were able to love again.

Stinky Cologne Guy

Dear Stinky Cologne Guy,

I cannot tell you how incredibly offended I am that you would walk into my meeting in your ugly sherbert orange shirt (in which you rolled up your sleeves- NOTE TO SELF: that style went out and isn't coming back), starched black denim pants, and your gold tipped cowboy boots (gag)and matching belt (double gag) and choose to sit next to me. Not to mention you (and your terrible outfit) were only about 2 hours late.

Then it hit me- no I'm not talking about your multiple Rose tatoos (one of which said Mom or something equally as awkward which I'll choose to bypass this blog)-I'm talking about the stench of cheep cologne that followed you. It was so terrible I thought I was going to have to ask my new coworker to give me CPR- how awkward was that going to be- I'd just met the girl. Although she was attractive- she was still a she, and we'd just become recently acquainted.

Might I suggest next time you choose water as your preferred liquid to shower with rather than bottles of Wal-Mart brand cologne.

Sincerely,
A Concerned Meeting Attendee

Craziness

I wrote a letter to "Santa" today for the first time in a very very long time. It took me back to my childhood when things were so much less complicated. There weren't clammering demands of work, financial needs, family, and just life in general.

It was crazy to see how much my list for things have changed. Instead of asking for barbies and makeup I'm asking for love and a Pink iPod. Truth be told- I could do without the iPod if I got love.

I guess what I'm getting at is change is inevitable, growing up isn't something that can be avoided forever. It's hard realizing that so much has changed and that there is so much more I'm responsible for. All in all though the change is beautiful. I've learned that the key to change is to let go of fear- fear of the future, fear of how people will respond, fear of the unknown.

I've also realized that when I'm through changing, I'm really truly through. This seems like a pretty common sense statement. An old professor used to tell me "Nobody has arrived, if you think you've arrived, you're wrong." As long as I'm still growing and changing I know I've yet to arrive upon the resting place of who I am going to be- to me, that's really exciting.

It's almost a New Year

For a long time I've posted my blogs on my myspace- but since it's almost a new year I thought why not do something new. Live a little. Get a little crazy.

Anyway, I'm not sure I'm dead set on the name. I just don't have a lot of creativity flowing through my veins today. I'll revisit that topic later.

Hope you enjoy reading as much as I will enjoy writing.