“A lot of what people say is merely lip service- said because that is what they think someone wants to hear. Beckham, Emily R. (September, 2008)”
It isn’t everyday that we get to quote ourselves. In this instance, I didn’t think I had said anything that really stood out, but then something led me to start reconsidering. I’ve always told myself and told other people- I mean what I say and I say what I mean. Then, after a night of heated (but jovial) debate, I started thinking is this really true?
How many times have I fallen victim to the casual “Hey, I need to let you go, I’ll call you back” ritualistic ending to a phone conversation or the “Hey, we should do this again soon” ending to a great night out with a long lost friend. Or the worst, which I encountered for the first time a couple weeks ago, the date who schedules pick up and then fails to appear at all. Not only have I said some of these things (with the exception of standing someone up on a date), I’ve believed them. It’s easy to do- simply put, we’re all looking for something to fill the space, something to connect the distance. In actuality though, our intentions fall short of the lip service we offer. The question is, when as adults do we stop trying to connect the distance with mere lip service and start actually following through?
Call me crazy, but I really believe that people- adults especially- should say what they mean and mean what they say. Yes, even something as simple as a call back or a text message to say “I’m not coming”. I think as society we’ve allowed ourselves to get incredibly complacent and lackadaisical. It has become the norm and widely accepted to say one thing and do another thing. To act first- think later. Never to acknowledge that actions have consequences. Sometimes those consequences are simply causing people to doubt you, to doubt the validity of your words and your actions (which in my mind is bad enough).
In this world sometimes all we have to hold on to is someone’s word. Sometimes, all I have as a person is my integrity. So, I dare to ask this question, when as a society did we stop doing what we said we’d do? Whatever happened to accountability and follow through?
I completely agree. I've made it a priority this past year to stop "beating around the bush" so to speak and just say exactly what is on my mind or tell someone, hey I can't meet for lunch today.
ReplyDeleteMight as well just come out with what we feel and try not to waste anyone's time any longer. :)
I'm glad you blogged. <3
You know, this is something I really really have been thinking a lot about lately.
ReplyDeleteI think this is a multi-layered issue, but really.........we are a society of covering up and being polite and dishonestly, really. You're weird or rude or worse if you are all honest, all the time. I don't think that culturally we can really do the whole honesty thing too much........years and years of it being socially unacceptable have put us in this place that really sucks but I don't know what will change it.
@Alejandro- I think this is a really good initiative. It isn't always easy, sometimes you probably feel like you're letting people down or disappointing them. In the end though, people will know they can always count on you to speak it like it is and I think that's respectable.
ReplyDelete@C Lo- You're right it's a multi-layered issue and we are a society of covering up and being polite and dishonest.
I don't think I'm saying that if someone ask "does this make me look fat?" you have to be brutally honest and reply with a "God, yes please go change right now!" There are definitely ways to be more tactful- yet truthful. It's about balancing and blending truth and tact. But, in the end what benefit are we providing people by sugar coating all the time? I do however get the point you're making in society it seems as if we've made it socially unacceptable for people to speak their mind, to be honest. We've made it extra easy for people to lack accountability and follow through- on all levels. I think that is sad.
Accountability walked away with your pants is what happened
ReplyDelete@JohnL-
ReplyDeleteAh, there's always that one who has to be funny.
I have all of my pants. Thank you.