Peering through the peep-hole of life

One of my favorite, more expensive, hobbies is traveling. I wake up every day wishing I had arrived at some more distant point in my life where I had the capability to travel the world. But, because I’m unable at this point in time to do that I’ve had to learn to satiate my restlessness through more creative means. I’ve learned it isn’t so much about the exotic places, the delectable food, or the beautiful scenery although all of these things have their individual part (some of them larger than others) in creating the adventure of a lifetime. But, one of my favorite things about traveling is the people you’ll meet; even if you meet them briefly.

One thing I have come to absolutely love is to watch airplanes take off and land. Since I can’t travel to all the exotic places I dream about a time in my life when I can. As I sit and watch the planes take off and I peer through the peep hole of the passengers lives I create stories about where they are going or where they have been. The stories they could tell of people they have met who have touched their lives and vice versa. I find the rhythmic coming and going of the planes almost hypnotizing. Such a languid activity- yet it frees my mind to really think, ponder, and to just be.

As I sat watching the planes the other day- it occurred to me that I spend more time peering through the peep hole of people’s life than really witnessing people’s lives and sometimes only allow a peep hole size view into my life. When you’re looking from the inside out of the peep hole everything is clear- but when you only allow a peep hole size view into someone’s life it’s blurry at best. In this day-and-age trust seems to be a large factor that’s missing from relationships so people tend to only give what is minimally expected. For me, I’m an all or nothing kind of girl and middle ground is scary, unnatural and a relatively difficult. I don’t want to be in relationships (this means romantic, friendships, everything) where I have to limit the view of my life to simply a peep hole size view, where I can’t trust the other person to accept me for everything that I am and view me exactly the same as they’d view me if they were looking at me through the peep hole I’ve created for them. The safety of meeting people when you travel is you can be you- and that makes you exotic and amazing and wonderful and refreshing. The added benefit, you may never see that person again or you may have made a lifelong friend. BUT- you got to be you, freely, openly, unashamed, unafraid. Sigh.

Maybe what I’m getting at here is that while I love traveling and watching airplanes- I also really love the idea of not having to parade around in front of the little peep hole of life. I want to be me- ALL OF ME- freely, openly, without shame, and unafraid. And, I want the same freedom for those I involve in my life.